Look, I know that it’s been slow around here as of late, and a list of junk I found at my mom’s house may not be the kind of clickbait you’re looking for, but bear with me, it’s worth it, because this stuff is really, really cool. And if that’s not enough for you, then maybe the next-level trolling on clickbait articles will be enough to keep you here.
Alright, let’s do this.
Some people bemoan the fact that they used to have all this cool stuff but their parents threw it out at some point. I’m not bragging here, and I realize that I’m pretty lucky, but my parents threw out nothing. Well, almost nothing, I’m still pretty sore about my Conan the Barbarian books, but the track record is good. My dad was quick to load me up on all my old stuff as soon as I got my own house, but my mom has been cool with me taking what she has more gradually. It’s a great nostalgia fix when I need one, I just go up into the attic, look threw some boxes, and repeatedly say, “Holy shit, I used to own this!” And then I own it again.
Let’s take a look at some of the stuff I dug up on my last haul.
Super Mario Bros. Motion Picture Sticker Album!
I apologize about the glare on these, it’s a glossy book that does not like to be photographed.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I’ve seen the Super Mario Bros. movie. I know it exists. But my brain does not accept that it exists. I don’t need to tell anyone that it’s a bizarre flick, the idea alone of trying to make a Mario movie is in itself bizarre. It’s not good, but I guess I liked it and I guess I still do. And I had a sticker book! In fact, I remember buying at least 3 of these things, probably more. They were at the Christmas Tree Shoppe and I was pretty determined in getting a whole set, a quest that went unfulfilled. I have every sticker in the collection except for #90. So if anyone has a line on one, let me know, I’m still in the market.
Koopa apparently sent every copy of sticker 90 in existence along with Spike.
Looking through this thing is a great reminder that this happened and that it was real and that it’s really, really weird. Just look at this picture below. Somebody made that, somebody said, “Yeah, that looks good,” and somebody said, “Hey, let’s do that again,” when they were making Suicide Squad.
Tales From the Crypt Books!
Tales From the Crypt. You know, for the kids.
Like many a 90s kid, I read Goosebumps religiously. At some point I said, “Goosebumps is cool and all but I want some hard shit.” This was that hard shit.
I remember seeing a girl at school reading the first volume and upon learning of its existence, it shot to the top of my birthday wishlist, probably right next to a Mighty Max playset. I recall getting both, but I must have read these things over and over again. They’re just adaptations of stories from the classic EC comics from the 50s, but they were definitely more hardcore than Goosebumps was. These books were my first steps into a much larger world of horror.
Goosebumps Terror In the Graveyard Board Game!
I don’t think I mentioned this in our recent board game podcast, but I did have this and it was probably the most “toy appeal” game I owned. I don’t recall playing it often, but it looks cool as hell when it’s set up. Or it should, anyway. It’s pretty warped now, but I’m determined to fix it up. I have a feeling this will be a good “four in the afternoon” game as we call it, after we’ve had a few drinks.
Those tombs you see slide back and forth, which changes the spaces on the board and can result in the pawns falling into pits, removing them from the game. It has alot of “take that” in it, which is always a hit with Mike and I. Plus, that ghost you see back there shoots up into the air when you win, which is super rad. I also have to point out that the player cards (which the rulebook takes too much joy in pointing out are characters from the books) has some of the most hilariously bad art I’ve ever seen on them.
Sweet bowl cut, Luke.
Real Ghostbusters Firehouse Playset!
The theme song is stuck in your head now. You’re welcome.
Here it is, the holy grail of my toy collection. The doors and sign are missing, but I have a pretty good idea as to where they are. I still have them, I know that for sure.
But man, was this thing loved. My mom still loves to recall just how difficult it was to find, that they had all my relatives scattered all throughout New England and beyond scouring toy stores looking for one during the Christmas season. That was the year I was told you don’t always get what you want for Chirstmas. We eventually found one at Child’s World, a magical place that had one over on Toys R Us because it looked like a castle. Upon getting it home, get it unpacked and put together, I immediately dropped a can of Ecto-Plazm through the roof because that’s what they showed in the commercial. It went everywhere and my mom spent the next 3 hours cleaning it up.
Does this pole still work?
I leave you with a couple of Real Ghostbusters toy commercials, the first of which will give you an idea of what the infamous Ecto-Plazm incident looked like. I probably own all of the GB toys shown. Bonus GI Joe Tiger Force ad at the end!