Halloween night 2016, Look Manor, last known location of my pumpkin tops.
Halloween has come and gone. Bummer.
That’s how it is with this holiday. For those of us who have put the work in and have found this time of the year to have an endless amount of fun to offer, late August/early September hits like a choir of 10,000 chainsaws. The big day itself seems to go with nothing more than a whimper. Let’s not mourn (2016 has had enough of that already) and let’s take a look at some of the things that made this last Halloween memorable.
The Return of Purple Dracula
First, a bit of a personal victory story.
The year my wife and I bought our house in 2013, my mom went kind of nuts on giving us decorations. Especially Halloween decorations. Now, the decorations she likes are rather different from what we like, hers more cutesy while we want to pretend we’re the Addams Family. The standout (for all the wrong reasons) was something we’ve come to call Purple Dracula.
Purple Dracula is always watching. Always waiting. Always ready.
This thing was just way too cute for us. Yet we displayed it outside the house anyway. Don’t ask why, I have no answers. After Halloween we “misplaced” it, hoping we’d just forget about it and get on with our lives. But forget it we did not. This thing has come up in conversation countless times over the years, and I found myself missing it. Something about how ridiculous it is suddenly resonated with me and I put a call out on Facebook to find a new one. Little did I know that I wouldn’t have to wait long. I came home from work one afternoon to find the damned thing sitting on my doorstep with a note on it telling me how foolish I was to think I could kill a vampire by putting it in the trash.
Purple Dracula is back. I can’t wait to take all sorts of awkward, creepy photos of this thing.
Ghostbustin’ Burgers at Wayback Burgers
We here at the Wolfman’s Lounge are unapologetic fans of the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot. Before you say it, I WISH I had been paid off by Sony to say that, as I’d have earned that paycheck several times over. The original Ghostbusters is my favorite movie of all time, so when I heard that Wayback Burgers (a chain I hadn’t heard of up until this point) had Ghostbustin’ Burgers and Stay Puft Slime milkshakes, I got in my car and headed to the nearest location before you could say, “I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.”
If I told you that I hadn’t thought about where I’d keep this huge cardboard standup, I’d be lying.
The burgers were incredible. The ghost pepper sauce (see what they did there?) was just hot enough to make me feel like I had survived something significant for eating it, but the milkshake stole the show. Not only did it steal the show, it stole the whole Halloween season folks. Somebody print me a shirt with just a picture of the milkshake on it with the words “STAY PUFT SLIME MILK SHAKE 2016, I WAS THERE” emblazoned across the back.
Behold. Behold and worship.
So 2016 wasn’t a banner year for Halloween, not like the year General Mills brought back all five Monster Cereals, but it was a pretty terrific one none the less. I saw some great horror flicks for the first time (most notably the 70s Tales From the Crypt, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, and Suspiria), Mike and I started the Wolfman’s Lounge and that’s not nothing, and that milkshake makes up for more than a few shortcomings. One final mystery, however. After trick or treaters stopped showing up at my house and I finished watching Halloween I went outside to unplug my lights, blow out the pumpkin candles, and make sure I hadn’t been egged or anything. No eggs, but the tops to my pumpkins had been stolen. Are you fucking serious? Is that a thing kids do? I don’t get it. I’d like to think that they were out to smash pumpkins, saw mine and saw that these were no ordinary jack-o-lanterns and lost the heart to do it. They had to be assholes somehow though, so they took the tops and left it at that.
Yeah, that’s my theory.